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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25701301">The Promise</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Planetargo/pseuds/Planetargo'>Planetargo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stranger Things (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual Steve Harrington, Cute, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gay Billy Hargrove, Harringrove for BLM, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Sad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:28:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,028</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25701301</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Planetargo/pseuds/Planetargo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In Steve's eyes, prom was overrated. People made such a fuss about a crappy dance. Or maybe he just hated it because he didn't want to be reminded of what he lost.</p><p>Steve and Billy go on a little adventure which turns out to be a sad therapy session. Lots of cute little moments ;)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Billy Hargrove &amp; Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Jonathan Byers &amp; Steve Harrington &amp; Nancy Wheeler, Steve Harrington &amp; Nancy Wheeler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Promise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please watch your step, because your about to fall into a deep dark place of depression.</p><p>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He could do it, date or not, Steve was going to walk into that building. He just needed to muster up the courage, grow some man balls. All he had to do was move his feet in the direction of the doors.</p><p>The music was blaring from inside, and the bass from the song echoed throughout the school parking lot. Not just the music, but the blue-hued lights from inside were spilling from the windows of the gym.</p><p>It was prom night. If you couldn't guess.</p><p>And Steve was truly struggling. He didn't have a date, not anymore. He didn't have any friends to go with that were over the age of 14, and most importantly, Steve couldn't dance if his life depended on it. It was just one of those awful high school memories that you just wished you didn't have to experience, one that you wish you could just avoid altogether.</p><p>But he promised Nancy, for what reason? Because she wanted him to be there. And of course, Steve said yes, he always did to her. Even when she broke his heart.</p><p>And yeah, that pissed him off, but what pissed him off, even more, was the fact that he couldn't let this girl go. He was constantly willing to do for her even when it wasn't his place anymore. He was mad at himself for being so stupid.</p><p>So now he can either walk into that gym like a man or turn around, drive home and indulge himself in some cheap alcohol and cigarettes.</p><p>But suddenly his legs made that decision for him as he was walking away from the safety of his car to the entrance of the school building. And that might of had something to do with Emily Doe driving up in the parking lot and the fact that he didn't want to be caught there looking like a loser who was afraid to go inside because he was.</p><p>The minute he opened the door it's as the music hit him in the face. A sudden thud of bass and vocals piercing his ears. He continued down the hallway and cringed at the dumb décor hanging on the wall. It was tacky and out of season, and just god awful. Steve was no designer, but he swears he could do better than that.</p><p>Before he opened the gym door he straightened out his black tux, that he went petty simple with. It was form-fitting and slick. Plain in a good way, a noticeable way.</p><p>After one swipe of fingers through his hair, he took a deep breath and opened the double doors.</p><p>And now Steve felt like that talk of Alcohol before would have been a better option. The room was spinning with colors and people, and sounds that made you want to scratch your eyes out.</p><p>So many old friends, if he could even call them that. He hated how now he was the odd one out, the one that didn't feel welcome or wanted. It used to be so different. But Steve has to remind himself all the time that he changed for the better. He is a kinder person than he was before. Before the upside down and the kids, and well... before Nancy. He doesn't regret that at all.</p><p>But still. Being uncool blows.</p><p>Steve walked through the bodies of white and blue tuxes, and frilly ruffled dresses. All of these girls seriously thought that guys liked this kind of stuff. They were so wrong. You put on a simple black dress and skip the blue eyeshadow its a perfect look. But that would only happen in another world.</p><p>He finally made his way to the tables where Nancy and Jonathan sat. She looked beautiful. She had on a very pale pink dress with small sleeves at the shoulders, and her hair was pinned up in a messy way that made It look so pretty. Steve thought about her, more than he should.</p><p>"Hey, guys." Nancy's eyes snapped over to Steve and she gave him a big smile.</p><p>"Steve, you look so nice!" He pulled one of the chairs out and sat down while trying to ignore the building feeling in his chest.</p><p>"Thanks, Nance. You too." He looked over at Jonathan and the two shared a polite nod. They weren't enemies by any means, but they weren't really comfortable with each other since he was the one who stole his girlfriend, well ex-girlfriend away from him.</p><p>"I'm really glad you came Steve. I couldn't believe you were going to spend your last prom sitting at home watching reruns of The Twilight Zone." She teased.</p><p>Steve sighed. "This kind of stuff just really isn't my thing any more Nancy. I've told you this like a million times."</p><p>"Yeah, I know, but I worry about you. You don't go out much anymore and even when I call and ask if you want to go see a movie with us you say no. I just want you to have some fun that's all."</p><p>"I don't see how this is fun."</p><p>"It's crazy to think that you used to live for this stuff and now you're revolted by it."</p><p>Steve laid his head on his fist. "Like I said, not my thing anymore."</p><p>He didn't want to talk about this, and he also didn't want to be rude to Nancy at the moment, but she was almost getting him to that point. How can he just simply hang out with them like they didn't date for over a year? Like she didn't just call everything they had bullshit. It made Steve mad because she was acting like she had no clue why he would distance himself from her.</p><p>"Is anything your 'thing' anymore? You never leave your house, besides picking up the little ones." She narrowed her eyes, and her lips thinned. The burgundy of her lipstick starting to rub off.</p><p>"Yeah. Not really." It was short and curt but Steve could care less. Nancy got quiet after that. She just looked at him and frowned, her hand linking around Jonathans' arm, as he sat uncomfortably because he was part of this too.</p><p>"Steve..."</p><p>"Just drop it, Nance. Its prom night. Let's not ruin it because of some dumb 'bullshit.' " And he used that last word on purpose. Her eyes flashed down to the table. He hit a home run.</p><p>"I'm going to go get some punch." He got up and pushed his chair in. He gave the two of them a forced smile and made his way over to the table that held all the food and drinks. Steve really wasn't even thirsty, he just needed an excuse to get away from them. It was killing him inside. God if he had known this is what relationships would do to you he would have never tried with Nancy.</p><p>Steve looked down in the fruit punch bowl and stared at his reflection. The glowing lights above him, darkening his blurry face.</p><p>He looked nice, but inside he felt like shit. So he poured himself a cup, spilling some on the table. It was sickly sweet and unnaturally red. Even if it was 90 percent sugar and tasted like crap it gave him a reason not to go back to his table. The last thing he wanted to do was sit with them so their pitying eyes can burn holes into his face all night.</p><p>Luckily for Steve, there were so many people on the dance floor that they couldn't see him. See him sadly leaning up against the wall with an almost-finished cup of punch.</p><p>Yeah. Being uncool really did blow.</p><p>Steve began to people watch. He noticed how all of the high schoolers would dance and sing. They looked like they were having fun. He sighed and let his head roll back against the wall.</p><p>He was seriously thinking about getting the hell out of there. Just leaving without saying a word. In the end, he doesn't think the two love birds would really care if he left. Not many people seemed to anymore.</p><p>And now that was a reality, Steve felt so alone. And he thought about Jonathan, and how sad and empty he looked when Will Byers went missing. Everyone around him acted as though he didn't exist. He had no one until Nancy.</p><p>Karma really does bite you in the ass.</p><p>"Lookin a little lonely King Steve."</p><p>Bites you really fucking hard.</p><p>Steve looked to his left to see a Billy Hargrove standing there in a white button-down and black pair of slacks. He looked good for the occasion, but Steve was more surprised to see him at an event like this. A school prom just seemed as though it was underneath Billy.</p><p>"Yeah." It was short. The way it should be with Billy fucking Hargrove. The guy who almost killed him. The guy who had no mercy when it came to Steve.</p><p>But Billy only smirked that dangerous mouth. "Where's your date?" The words rolled off Billy's tongue as if they were rehearsed.</p><p>"Don't have one." Steve folded his arm, jaw working as he avoided Billy's blue eyes.</p><p>Billy raised his brows. "You? Don't have a date?"</p><p>"You understand English? That's what I just fucking said." Steve really was in no mood for this.</p><p>"So you mean to tell me that I somehow managed to steal every Hawkins girl away from your grasp?"</p><p>"Fuck Billy. Sure, if that will make you happy then yes. You succeeded to woo every piece of ass that this town had to offer." Steve felt this burning in the back of his eyes. He was so goddamn frustrated. Not with just girls, but with life in general. He looked over to Nancy's table through the split of people on the dance floor. She and Jonathan had each other's arms interlocked and were peacefully smiling, every now and then whispering in each other's ear because of the loud music. She looks so happy.</p><p>Billy's eyes seemed to follow.</p><p>"You really fell for her didn't you." He wasn't being mean or rude when he said this. He wasn't trying to poke at or make fun of Steve's mistake. It was strange hearing that comes out of Billy's mouth. His eyes were still focused on Nancy.</p><p>He was reluctant to answer. Not sure if telling Billy that he fell hopelessly in love with her was a good idea.</p><p>"I... yeah. I did." Steve blinked his eyes, "She's special."</p><p>Billy didn't say anything. Just leaned against the wall with Steve. They sat quietly while they're eyes watched the scene before them. Tons of young teens dancing and laughing. Steve wished he could do that. Let go. Of Nancy, of the monsters. Let go of the bat in his trunk.</p><p>The weirdest part of this whole night was that he didn't mind Billy's company. It was like he knew what Steve was going through except he didn't. Billy Hargrove could never fall in love, and no one could convince Steve otherwise.</p><p>Steve's ears suddenly became alert to the song playing in the gym. A song that he was ashamed to love so much. The Promise by When In Rome. A classic. But kinda gay for a guy to like, but he couldn't help it. Something about the sound got the dopamine in Steve's body running.</p><p>He tapped his foot to the beat and closed his eyes, letting the sound of the song drown him in. He was completely unaware of the person next to him watching his face.</p><p>Watching, memorizing, learning.</p><p>"Wanna get out of here?" Billy had asked completely out of nowhere. Steve's eyes snapped open.</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"I said do you wanna get out of here? Ya know. Shit like this always sucks." Billy looked across the room of people, dislike written all over his face.</p><p>Steve narrowed his eyes at Billy's blue ones which looked darker in the lights of the gym.</p><p>"Then why did you come?"</p><p>Billy gave a small regretful chuckle while he shook his head. "A certain little redhead convinced me that I would regret not coming to my last prom, so I came."</p><p>Steve smiled in agreement. "Sounds like someone I know."</p><p>Steve has thought about Max and Billy quiet a few times. He wondered if their relationship had got any better. He tried to think about Billy apologizing, which he has yet to do for Steve.</p><p>"So what do ya say, pretty boy? You up for the task?" And just like before, the way he said it wasn't testing or mean. It was playful and lighthearted. Steve thought about that, thought about leaving this shitty dance, leaving Nancy. He looked back at her, watching her look at Jonathan as if he was the world. And once again Billy followed his eyes.</p><p>"I think she'll live. And be honest with yourself, do you think she'll really care that much?"</p><p>Steve averted his eyes. Was it really that obvious? "Probably not."</p><p>Billy smiled. "Then what's stopping you?" And that was a tremendously good question. What was stopping him?</p><p>Steve downed the last sip of his punch and slammed it on the table next to him. "Nothing is, not anymore."</p><p>***</p><p>Steve never imagined himself in Billy Hargrove's Camaro on prom night driving to God knows where.</p><p>He had shed his tux jacket and loosened the tie letting the air from the window blow his perfect hair to unruliness. Steve finally felt as though he had gotten back.  like he has shown Nancy that he didn't need her. He felt free, and slightly in control. Billy next to him had unbuttoned his shirt down a few notches and was driving freely with one hand on the wheel. The window on his side was down as well and now his long curly hair was blowing in the wind, cool night air cleansing his face.</p><p>This felt so much better than dealing with the torture of Nancy. Dealing with that remembrance.</p><p>They continued on one road for a good amount of time until Billy pulled over to a small cove on the side of the road.</p><p>"Where is this?" Steve asked. Billy just looked out of the window ignoring Steve's question.</p><p>"Billy," Steve said quietly. Maybe he had made a mistake. Coming out here in the middle of the night with the guy who had no problem using his face as a punching bag.</p><p>Billy let out a deep breath, "I just wanted to talk Pretty boy, chill out." He pulled a cigarette out of its case and placed it in his mouth. He turned to Steve, face all too serious. "I don't bite."</p><p>Steve swallowed. He readjusted himself in his seat.  "What about?"</p><p>Billy nodded his head questioning, dragging his cigarette slowly. After exhaling the smoke he licked his lips and looked over at Steve.</p><p>"I don't know, " his hands started tapping the steering wheel. Let's see- how about we start at the Byers house."</p><p>Steve pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Dude, why won't you let that shit go?" He asked.</p><p>"Because I have questions Harrington," Billy pointed his finger at Steve's chest, loving the way his eyes followed Billy's movements. "And you're going to give me answers."</p><p>Steve laughed. "What difference will it make? You won't believe anything I say, just like the last time I tried telling you what the hell was going on. And you know what happened? Come on Billy, why don't you remind me."</p><p>Billy's jaw clenched, while his grip on the steering wheel tightened.<br/>"Don't."</p><p>Steve tested him. "Don't what?" His words were biting, and sharp.</p><p>"I don't make me say it." The car became all too quiet. The air was now electric with tension.</p><p>"The truth?" Steve gritted.</p><p>"Will you stop talking-"</p><p>"No!" He yelled, a manic laugh cutting in between. "I'm so fucking tired of shutting the fuck up!" He ran his hands through its hair in a fit, squeezing and tugging.</p><p>"You have been giving me shit since the very first minute you stepped in this town. And I took it. All of it."</p><p>Steve wanted Billy to know. To understand. He has dealt with so much in the last year and now he just wants to let it go. But Billy won't let him, because he can't seem to either.</p><p>"God," Steve whispered, head facing the window. "You're just... Such an asshole." There was no heat to his words because he was so tired. Steve was over it.</p><p>It was quiet and dark. Billy was sitting there biting his thumbnail as his knee bobbed up and down, couldn't still. Steve was slouched down with his head in his hand.</p><p>"I was so scared." His voice came out small, like the cry of a tiny animal. That statement was drenched in utter honesty. Billy's knee stopped its continuous movement, and his eyes slowly shifted towards Steve.</p><p>Steve felt like he was going to say something he shouldn't, that he'll mess up. For some reason, he needed Billy to believe him. To understand that all he was trying to do was help.</p><p>"I hated being there just as much as you did." Steve swallowed.</p><p>Billy squinted his eyes at him as if a bright light had been shined in his face. The confusion was what it was. Not understanding.</p><p>"That still doesn't answer why my sister was there. You had her, and four other fucktards in that house! You gonna tell me that you were babysitting?" Billy scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief.</p><p>"Billy I was-"</p><p>"You were what?" And suddenly Steve became silent. Like his insides had all closed up into a vacuum.</p><p>"You were what," Billy repeated eyes narrowed in at the side of Steves's face as it stared out the windshield.</p><p>"I was trying to help." Steve hoped, no prayed that this response would solve all his problems. That it could somehow in someway satisfy Billy. But the tension in the car never dissipated, and now it was silent except for the sounds of their breaths.</p><p>Billy was pondering with his hand gripped around his chin. "You're so full of shit."<br/>And now he was laughing. "Do you think I'm dumb? You must because I don't believe any of that for one second." He turned to Steve, gripping his wrist as if he was pretending it was Steves's neck.</p><p>"I got my ass kicked because of you! If you hadn't been fucking around like some creep, none of this would have happened. Max would have been home, I could have gone on that date instead of driving around in the middle of the night for my dumb ass sister." He shook his head again, an exasperated smile on his lips.</p><p>Steve had no clue what Billy was talking about. All he knew was that the hand around his wrist made is whole arm shake.</p><p>"What your sister decides to do in her free time is not my problem! It's not like I dragged her there by her arms and feet! You have no idea, no fucking idea what we went through that night. You only came in there thinking about one thing, " and with his other hand that was not being held by a vice grip, he shoved his finger at Billy's chest, "You. That's all you cared about. So stop this whole 'my sister' act because we both know you couldn't give two shits about what happens to her."</p><p>Billy stared at Steves darken eyes like they were a clock swinging back and forth, attracting all his attention.</p><p>"And me-" Steve stopped to take a shaky breath, throat going tight for some reason.<br/>"And me... You could care less about what happened to me."</p><p>He wanted to cry, a strong pull making it so incredibly hard for him to hold back the waves. "So, I'm having a, a hard time trying to understand." One fell. "Why you brought me out here? Why you made me feel as though I was in your, " Sniffle. "Car driving away from all this. But no. You fucking trapped me."</p><p>The hand on Steves's wrist was a loose hold now. Billy's thumb over his pulse, calculating what was going on.</p><p>No one moved. They just continued to look at each other in the eyes, daring the other to speak, to fight. Billy didn't have any expression. He just looked at Steve as though he was waiting for the answers.</p><p>Steve held his lips taut, trying to keep them from trembling. But his eyes gave away everything. This was supposed to be fun, exciting, dangerous. All the things you would expect to have when hanging out with Billy. But he was miss lead.</p><p>Billy released his wrist, hand flexing, getting used to the feel of not having it there. And the next thing you know, he opened the door and stepped outside. Steve sat in the same position, arm still slightly in the air from where it's weight was being held by Billy. He felt like he could crawl into a ball and cry for days. So many emotions he pushed to the back of his brain. Everything.<br/>His fear of being in his house alone, the hurt that Nancy left burning on his heart, the belief that no one in this fucking town cares about what happened to him. He has been pushed aside. Traded for something newer and better so many times. His parents, Nancy, his friends from school. And that cracked his heart in half.</p><p>He watched Billy track his steps outside the car, headlights beaming a bright yellow hue on his skin. He looked...</p><p>Fragile.</p><p>Steve followed his movements, followed as he walked back and forth, trying to process something in his head. Hands in pockets, his white button-ups half pulled out of his slacks. It was freezing outside, the beginning of May.</p><p>Until Billy's body stopped moving. He found a stationary place on the hood of his car. His back to Steve. He had no idea what to do. What to say. He wanted to step outside, tell Billy to take him back to the school parking lot. But at the same time, he didn't want to disturb him. Didn't want to break the concentration he had.</p><p>Billy and he were not friends. And probably never will be. But thinking back to that awful night. The night he officially lost everything. He remembered how hallow Billy's eyes looked. He remembered when Billy was landing punch after punch on his face, how It didn't even look like he was staring at him. Like he was hurting somebody else.</p><p>
  <em>I got my ass kicked because of you</em>
</p><p>Maybe Billy didn't understand Steve, maybe he never will. He'll never understand those dark nights of blood and horror.</p><p>But maybe Steve was starting to understand Billy. Just a little bit.</p><p>He sniffed in the leftover snot that was dripping in his nose. Pulled his sleeve down so he could wipe the remaining tears off his face. Looking back up at billy to see he still hadn't moved, he put his hand on the car door and swallowed.<br/>He grabbed his suit jacket as he stepped out of the car. The gravel underneath his shoes crunching with every step. Billy didn't turn to look at him or acknowledge the fact that he was walking over.</p><p>When driving here, the air felt much colder with the windows down in the car. Felt icy and dull. But now standing outside, it didn't feel as bad. Still chilly, Steve thought, but not bad.</p><p>He walked to the hood, taking a gentle seat with a good amount of distance between the two. The metal of the car was colder than it was outside. He could feel the burn through his pants, but he had no intention of moving. His jacket was still cradled in his hands, trying to decide if he wanted to wear it.</p><p>Billy still didn't acknowledge Steves's existence. He sat slack with his ankles crossed. But his face stared at the ground, and then would eventually look into the woods. As if he was searching for something.</p><p>Steve swallowed, finding it to be pretty uncomfortable sitting here without talking. Communicating. He looked at Billy again. Saw how his eyes, even in the shadow of the light, looked sad and distant.</p><p>Fragile, Steve thought again.</p><p>Until Billy did say something, did talk. If not to Steve than to the woods around them.<br/>His words were quiet and raw.</p><p>"I don't really know why I brought you out here."</p><p>Steve blinked.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Billy's hands made their way to his armpits, searching for the warmth of his body and soon finding it. He looked tired, his expression showing that he couldn't keep up the fight.</p><p>"I saw you standing by yourself, watching everyone the same way I do. Like we live outside a bubble."</p><p>Steve thought about those words, and how they reflected him. He never looked at it that way.</p><p>Bubble.</p><p>And maybe Billy had a point. He felt like he had been watching the world go by without him. Everyone had moved on except him. No more connections, no more friends. Nothing. Steve was alone. Really alone.</p><p>"For a second I thought maybe I was mistaking it for something else. But I <em>know</em> that look."</p><p>"Bullshit." The words were quick to come out of Steves's mouth. Billy looked at him, waiting to see what he had to say.</p><p>"If anything, you live in the center of that bubble. Everyone loves you, Billy, stop acting like they can't see you."</p><p>And Billy gave a sad chuckle. "They like the <em>idea</em> of me, Harrington."</p><p>And here again, Billy said something that made Steves's brain work. He thought about his years as King. All of his 'friends'. But they weren't. There was no real connection. It was the booze, and the girls and constant attention that made him feel like there was.</p><p>And then Billy said something he never expected.</p><p>"I haven't been seen since my mom left." His words were very soft and vulnerable, and it was sad and heartbreaking. A weird familiarity came along with it. Steves parents walked by him every day. Like they didn't have a son at all. Like he had disappeared.</p><p>He knew he was going to ask a dumb question. Something to personal, to close to home. But he needed to hear. To connect. With someone, anyone.</p><p>"What happened?"</p><p>By the look of Billy's expression and the quick turn of his head, Steve guessed that he wasn't expecting that.</p><p><br/>A fight was going on in Billy's head right now. Deciding on whether to tell Steve or not. To open up. But then he gave one look at Him, saw that Steves eyes we're open in curiosity, and actual interest. Like he really wanted to know.</p><p>"My dad, kind of... Ruined things. They stopped getting along. The last thing I remember was her kissing my forehead and telling me she loved me." His words sounded opaque.</p><p>Billy's hand squeezed his knee.</p><p>"That she would see me again."</p><p>Steve stared and stared. He looked until the image of Billy's head was permanent inside his brain. He could only imagine the hurt Billy felt. The betrayal of her never coming back.</p><p>
  <em>I got my ass beat because of you</em>
</p><p>That again. Steve has never seen Billy's dad. Never wanted to. And maybe he wasn't the smartest person in Hawkins.<br/>But he could put two and two together.</p><p>"You two were close." It wasn't a question. It was obvious they were. Billy's mom really saw him. Looked at him, reminded him that he was loved and wanted. The thought of someone doing that to Steve made tears prickle in his eyes.</p><p>Billy nodded. Still sad looking, Still inside his head. Thinking about the past.</p><p>Reminiscing.</p><p>Steve did a lot of that. He's learned over time that the past does nothing for you, except making the present hard to live in. His past wasn't even that comforting, and nor is the present. He's still waiting to make something for himself, create a warm vision that he can think about when times are rough when he needed an escape.</p><p>"Your dad-" Steve was going to ask, but Billy interrupted.</p><p>"Neil, not dad."</p><p>Neil. A first name. He can't even call his own father, dad anymore.</p><p>"Okay, Neil. Are you two close?" Swallow "like your mom?"</p><p>Billy's jaw clenched and his mouth grew tight. The thoughts of his father were tormenting.</p><p>"No. Never."</p><p>Those words were final like nothing could change his mind.</p><p>"Is he why you were so angry that night?"<br/>He knew he was testing the waters, crossing lines that most definitely shouldn't be crossed. But if he could understand why Billy did those awful things to him, to Lucas, to Max. If he could just pinpoint why.</p><p>It took billy some time to answer. He thought and thought about it. Words rolling over in his mind like a wheel.</p><p>"There were a lot of things that made me angry that night, pretty boy." He licked his lips, the cold now getting to them. "He was only one of them."</p><p>But Steve couldn't help but feel that those words had something to do with himself. That they were angled just perfectly so that he wouldn't know whatever was inside Billy's mind. That Billy might be trying to tell him something.<br/>Steve knew he never really did anything wrong with Billy. Never messed with him or tried to be a nuisance. He did what most people his age did, or at least what you're supposed to do at this age. He ignored it. Let it roll off his back. Because most of the time guys like Billy would eventually get bored, move on to someone new.<br/>But he never did. Kept coming around, always had something new to say.</p><p>He targeted Steve before Steve could even say hello.</p><p>"Was I one of them?" He asked. Eyes watching the shifting of Billys' eyebrows. Billy rubbed a hand down his face, dragging out a rough sigh. He licked his lips again.<br/>With his elbows now resting on his knees, he looked at Steve for a minute. Noticed every aspect of his face.</p><p>Eyes.</p><p>Nose.</p><p><em>Mouth</em>.</p><p>And just like that, he looked away.</p><p>And then, "Guys like you were always one of them."</p><p>There were so many ways that he could have taken that, so many. But one thought stuck out in Steves's brain, one stomach twisting one. Billy is an enigma. Walls thicker thank the earth's core.</p><p>Steve didn't want to go crazy thing about it, contemplating on what those words meant.</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>He notices how Billy would shift every time a cold breeze would blow by, how it made him shrink in on himself. Maybe he would take it maybe not, but Steve grabbed his suit jacket from his side and offered it to Billy. He looked at it like he didn't know what it was.</p><p>It was a silent transaction, words we're not needed. His cold hands gripped the coat and strung it around his shoulders. It was naturally too small for Billy's frame, with him being a lot more bulk than Steve, but it did the job.</p><p>"Thanks."</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>And just like that, they're both sitting on the hood of his blue Camero, watching leaves blow in the light of the car. Every now and then Steve would look at Billy just to see him starting ahead, eyes focusing on nothing.</p><p>The woods were dark. Black. Only the front line of trees we're visible. That created an itch up his back. One he couldn't reach. Monsters were on the tip of his tongue. He thought about what might be lurking and watching.</p><p>It was too quiet.</p><p>Steve moved from his position on the car, sliding off with one quick motion. Billy's eyes followed, as confusion sets in.</p><p>"What are you doing?"</p><p>Steve opened the door and stretched inside. Once his finger fell on the power button, he pushed it and let the silence get swallowed by the sound.</p><p>"Thought some noise would be nice." He spoke as he pulled himself upright from bending in the car. He came back to the same spot he was in before. Sitting down on the metal, finding after only a few seconds it had grown cold again.</p><p>"Music? Seriously?" Billy stated.</p><p>Steve rolled his eyes and gave him a look. One that said 'just go with it'.<br/>And he did. He sat there and listened to the sounds coming from the radio. Letting his eyes closed so he could disappear.</p><p>Voices Carry by Til Tuesday chimed in the car, the sound waves traveling to the ears of both of them.</p><p>' <em>I'm in the dark, I like to read his mind</em>.'</p><p>Billy hummed along with the song, surprising Steve. He didn't think of this as something Billy Hargrove would listen to. A song that isn't about half-naked girls and drugs. But he didn't comment on it. Just listened to Billys sounds blending in with the song.</p><p>"Aren't you cold?"</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"Cold. Are you cold?" He repeated.</p><p>Steve swore he heard a small 'Jesus' at the end of that sentence.</p><p>Billy's hand gestured to the suit jacket wrapped around his shoulders. The image was different. Billy is surrounded by the light of the car, stray curls highlighted, cheeks, and nose a rosy red from the cold breeze.<br/>And Steves jacket. His. On Billy.</p><p>"I, no. I'm fine."</p><p>"Take it."</p><p>"No, I gave it to you."</p><p>"Yeah, and now I want you to take the damn thing back, so here."</p><p>Steves eyes we're very stubborn, challenging Billy's blue ones. And then some unknown expression was brought to Billy's face.</p><p>"Please." He asked. Like he really wanted Steve to take it back. His stomach clenched, swallowing down any argument he had left. Right hand reaching out for the jacket.</p><p>"Okay." He agreed quietly. Billy's eyes continued to look at him. Look through him. He slipped it on with ease, remembering how small it looked around Billy's shoulders, and now noticed that it was a little baggy on himself.</p><p>The song they were listening to long gone off the radio, a familiar piano rift started to play, a sound that gave Steve chills up his arm. He wanted to smile, feeling giddy inside.</p><p>"You like this song, right?" Billy mentioned. Avoiding Steves's eyes.</p><p>"Yeah... How did you-"</p><p>"In the gym. It came on."</p><p>Steve felt a heatwave spread up his body, his neck.</p><p>"You were watching?" He felt scared to ask, afraid that Billy would be defensive, abrasive.<br/>But there was no yell or insult. There was nothing.</p><p>Billy had his head looking down at his hands, studying them. A smile, one of defeat, surrender placed on his lips. Steve felt restless. He wanted to know, wanted an answer to all of this. This madness.</p><p>"Always, pretty boy."</p><p>They looked at each other, Steve with his mouth slightly parted, eyes hyper-focused. And Billy, he waited. For many things. A hit, a scream, a run. But none came, and that scared him more than the rest.</p><p>' <em>I gotta tell you, need to tell you, got to tell you, I've got to tell you.'  </em>Cooned the radio<em>.</em></p><p>Hope was gone for one but just began for the other.</p><p>"We should probably head back." And the next thing you know, Billy is of the car, making it shift from the drop of weight. Steve was stunned. Didn't think he could move. Felt like a ton of bricks had just been dropped on his head. He took in a shaky breath and made his way to the passenger side.</p><p>The ride wasn't awkward or tense, both in there own worlds thinking of the things that connect.</p><p>This wasn't what Steve expected on his prom night. This was too much self-discovery all at once. The image of Billy was plastered in his mind, written all over the walls of his head.</p><p>Blue eyes.</p><p>Wavy blonde hair.</p><p>Freckles.</p><p>So many things he didn't even realize he noticed. Made him seem so... Soft.</p><p>Fragile.</p><p>Billy was fragile. And so was Steve. They were both broken boys.<br/>Steve wished he didn't have to go home to that empty house. He didn't want to face reality. It was cold, too big. So lonely.<br/>This was the first time in a long time that Steve felt calm. He released a bunch of broken thoughts and feelings. He spoke how he felt. And that was exhausting.</p><p>The car was taking a turn toward the road that leads to the school. As they drove he could see his BMW waiting alone in an almost empty parking lot.</p><p>This night was coming to an end.</p><p>He was grateful, but there was this twist in his chest. A dread.</p><p>Billy rounded a median and found a spot that was a good amount of distance from Steves's car. The doors were unlocked, ready for him to open it as fast as he could and get home. Get away from Billy. But no one made a single move.</p><p>Steve scratched the side of his neck and then leaving his hand there to rest. Billy was still holding on to the wheel. Like it was the only grounded and stable thing around him.</p><p>"I don't understand," Steve whispered.</p><p>Billy looked sad. So fucking sad. He leaned his unruly blonde hair on the headset, exposing his tan neck to Steve.</p><p>"I think you do." He answered.</p><p>This made Steve mad. Because this wasn't fair. This aloofness that they were playing, it just wasn't, because Steve was the only one outside the bubble this time.</p><p>"Then what? What is it I understand?<br/>Billy squeezed his eyes shut. Still avoiding Steves's glare.</p><p>"Don't make me say it."</p><p>And suddenly it was like a spark lit a fire. The same damn phrase from earlier this night, don't make me say it. Billy was afraid. Steve shook his head and clenched his jaw.</p><p>"You're a fucking coward, you know that Hargrove?"</p><p>He pushed the car door open, cold air sweeping inside. One leg out and the other still in Steve looked at the side of his face, wishing he would look back.</p><p>"I can't believe I was afraid of you."</p><p>And then he was gone.</p><p>Billy shook in his seat. His brain wanting so many things at the same time. But all he could do was freeze. Become a statue that didn't exist. His hands tugged on his hair. Trying to stop the feelings and thoughts that were running around. He just wanted to breathe.</p><p>Steves's walk was fast to his car, he wanted to scream at Billy for parking so far away.<br/>He wishes that he had just stayed with Nancy and Jonathan. Endured the feelings he had when he watched them. That would have been way less...</p><p>Painful?</p><p>And why was it painful? Why did he feel that way? Billy watched him, Billy noticed him, he heard Steve.</p><p>Billy could see Steve.</p><p>There were footsteps behind him, ones that echoed throughout the lot.</p><p>"Wait!" Step, step, step, "Just wait a fucking minute."</p><p>Steve turned around to find Billy standing in front of him. His hair was shifting from the wind, and steam rose from his mouth.</p><p>"Harrington, " he started, taking a breath. And then it died in his throat. Much softer, he said, "Steve."</p><p>Hearing that made the hairs on his neck stand.</p><p>"I'm a coward. You're right." His eyes never leaving his face. "I'm not gonna deny it."</p><p>"I was afraid of <em>you</em>." Steve was frozen in place, waiting for the finish line to arrive.</p><p>"You scared me shitless. And I-" Billy looked to the sky for words.</p><p>"And I thought, that if I hurt you, you would never have the chance to hurt me." His eyes were glassy, and the only way Steve could tell was because of the street lights. "If I did it first, then I wouldn't have to face you."</p><p>Steve's heart was pounding in his ears, brain on fire trying to fit the pieces together.</p><p>"Why would I hurt you? You didn't even know me! And you still don't!"</p><p>"I told you already." And he thought back through all the conversations, arguments.</p><p>"it's guys like you, Steve." He stepped closer, so now Steve could really see him. Lip red from the constant biting, eyed shimmering with glossy tears.</p><p>"I'm not like them." Steve hoped Billy could see how much he was begging here. Understand that Steve was being truthful, he was trying to send him a message. He wanted him to receive it.</p><p>"I know that now." A sad smile formed on his lips.</p><p>"And I'm so fucking sorry." His words trembled, and the damn broke, waves crashing over everything. Billy was not one for crying, thought it was for pussys. But right now? He had never felt so much.</p><p>The movements were slow and uncoordinated. Steve took three steps closer and wrapped his arms around Billy's shoulder, held him in a strong embrace. He kept his eyes shut, didn't want to open them. And he let his head lay into his neck.</p><p>Billy didn't know what to do. Never in a million years thought this would happen. The hug almost made him want to cry even more. He dragged his arms to the middle of Steves's waist and pulled him in, dropping his head on to Steve.</p><p>"I'm sorry." He whispered into the fabric of Steve's tux. So in return, Steve pulled him tighter as to say, 'I know.'</p><p>Billy was warm and Sturdy. He was wide and firm. Big enough to surround Steve whole, and he wanted nothing more than that. A comfort he hasn't gotten from anyone in a long, long time. His parents never hugged him, Nancy never calls, and Dustin will never be able to understand. And right now, Billy was doing all of those things.</p><p>They hugged for a long time, creating warmth between their bodies in the cold of the night.</p><p>And neither were planning on letting go.</p><p>Because they both saw each other.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sooooooo.... I was thinking of making a part two???<br/>Would anyone be interested in that? I mean, im gonna do it even if no-one replies. But it would be nice to know.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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